My wife Delores is an amazing life partner. I cherish the day she became my wife. Over nearly 25 years, Del has been there for me when everyone else in the world might have been otherwise.
I am who I am because of her.
In honor of this beautiful and amazing woman, I thought I would share the qualities of a wonderful partner. She is the one who showed me these things with her selfless actions for our near 25 years of marriage. I hope to be a fraction of what she has been to me.
This is my experience. I hope it helps you.
They want what’s best for you – even if it makes things more difficult for them.
My wife encourages me to do what’s best for me, and many times it makes things a bit tougher for her. Maybe it hurts for me to hear the truth and I resist. She could have just said ‘do what you want, but she knows what’s best, and heroically chooses a more difficult, but seriously more beneficial route. That is incredibly unselfish. In our early marriage years, she told me to quit my job as a warehouse manager to pursue my dream of writing and producing content. She believed in me to pursue my dream. That wasn’t easy for her. What a gift.
Any arguments or disagreements boil down to the best interests of your partner
My wife tells me many times to do the best thing possible. But an argument should always have at its core the best interests of each other. She always does that for me. For example, I want to dress casual and go somewhere, and depending on the situation she might say, “Vincent, you should probably dress more appropriately.” I may pause, but she’s always right. And listening to her has been beneficial more times than I can count.
They are there to keep you in check
Married men statistically do live longer than single men. Why is that? My wife keeps me in check. And trust me that is a great thing. One time I wanted to jump on a trampoline with boots on, she said, “I have a bad feeling” … I fractured my foot. Yeah … I deserved that one lol.
They encourage you to love yourself for who you are
My wife compliments me all the time. It’s incredible. She has told me so many times how amazing my Indigenous features are. How handsome I am, how funny I am. I used to hate my nose as a teen, but now I love my Native features. I feel confident for who I am. My wife gifted that to me.
They see how amazing you are even when you don’t
My wife tells me all the time how amazing I am. I swear I am hard headed … she is my hero. I used to portray that I was awesome, but because of her, I really do feel it. I am so so lucky. And she is amazing too.
They are an arrow pointing you in the best direction
My wife Delores always knows when I am rolling into the side rails, she is ever present, telling me to wake up and get back on the road. Trust me again, I need this too.
They are there to remind you about striving to be your best self and encourage you to be your best self
We’ve had long conversations on how to be my best self. She reminds me of my ancestors, the people I speak with, what people might think if I do a or b. She encourages me to be the best person I could possibly be. And those times I might want to let things slide off track, she encourages me to stay the course.
They are your cheerleader
My wife is my biggest fan. I am completely blown away by how incredible she is and want to support everything I do as well as tell the world. It’s incredible. She even made these post-it-note pom poms once and cheered me on for an accomplishment.
They are there to share your struggle to make it easier to manage
She is always willing to listen and share my struggle. Even when I want to carry it … is when she tells me to talk. … we share things to travel the journey of this life together. She is my angel.
They are there to love you
All said, she is there to love me. To show me she feels wonderful about spending her life with me. We are married 25 years as of July 13 2021. And I have to tell you Del, I couldn’t imagine my life without you. You made me who I am you encouraged me, believed in me and never gave up on me. I wish I could tell you I love you to the depths of how much I feel you have shown me.
Vincent Schilling, Akwesasne Mohawk, is the founder and editor of Native Viewpoint. With over 16 years of experience as a Native journalist and former member of the White House Press Pool. Follow Vincent on Twitter at @VinceSchilling or on any other of his social media accounts by clicking on any of the icons below.
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